The Steve Dahl Show – August 13, 2012

It’s Monday, and there are a lot of people that need to be reminded to learn their lesson after the weekend. Most of these folks hail from the state of Florida, where the idiocy just keeps pouring in, luckily for us. Here are some lessons to be learned from today’s DahlCast:

1. If you are cheating on your wife, best to throw out the condom receipt

2. If you are an NFL star, you need to save your head butting for the field.

3. If you are an NFL star, you should focus on the game and keep your mouth shut.

4. If you are Chad Johnson, numbers 1-3 above are for you, especially.

5. Condoms can be tax write-offs if you’re in porn.

6. 2 Jack in the Box tacos are not enough, and 10 are too many.

7. If you share your tacos with a homeless lady, she’s not going to return the favor and offer you a sip of her Oreo Shake.

8. Global Services is a secret club. Do not try to penetrate its iron-clad fortress.

9. When hunting for a job, be cunning, but not too cunning…

10. The back porch is not a place to keep dog feces and neither is your mother’s face.

11. Women prefer that you ask them before smacking the ass.

12. If you’re drinking, pizza-eating or rickshaw-riding in Old Town this weekend, watch out for some “Eastern Block Cock Blocking”.

13. If you are a new restaurant, you might not want to name your menu items using racial slurs against the culture whose food you’re serving.

14. If someone calls you the Greatest Athlete in the World, shut up, say thank you and getting running to Rio.

Please enjoy today’s show. We’re chock full of life lessons from Floridiots across the land. If you’re not a subscriber, sign up HERE, so that you can start getting some advice from Steve…you’ll be much better off if you do.