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| 5:32
| Ah yes, good morning everybody. That's Buzz Kilman and the Orchestra with our theme today. They've been working so hard and it shows. |
| 5:33
| Steve's son Mike attended the Blues Rocket Scientist gig last Saturday. He was hardcore, he stayed there pretty late. He's a frat boy, trained at U of I in the largest Greek system in the country. |
| 5:34
| Mike only gets louder and more aggressive when he drinks. Not bad aggressive though, party aggressive like "Let's dial this thing up!" |
| 5:35
| Mike said that not only was the band good and Buzz on harmonica, but he also had witty banter with the audience. Buzz doesn't think he can go that far. |
| 5:36
| And of course Jack ended his overnight deal with Bruce Springsteen. Jack will go home and rest for a few hours and then he'll be back to fire up the music machine again. |
| 5:37
| Glory Days is a 1984 song written and performed by Bruce Springsteen. In 1985 it became the fifth single released from his massively successful album Born in the U.S.A. |
| 5:38
| Glory Days, much like YMCA, gets misused a lot because people don't understand the meaning of it. It's not really a pro-America song. |
| 5:39
| People think YMCA is just a fun song about swimming at the YMCA but really it's about dudes nailing other dudes at the YMCA. |
| 5:40
| In the last few years a lot of scholars have tried to make Disco Demolition about homophobia and racism. Whenever Steve gets asked questions it's hard to answer those revisionist history questions. |
| 5:41
| Someone pointed out to Steve, in an email this week, that a good defense for those questions is to play Do You Think I'm Disco? It's all about a white guy named Tony and that's who Steve was lashing out at. |
| 5:42
| Steve can even act incredulous that they've never heard the song before. Buzz is guessing people who have studied Disco Demolition have never heard the song. Of course they haven't. What's the point of being a professor if you can't come up with a million other ulterior motives behind any event to show what's wrong with society. |
| 5:43
| That is a good defense and Steve needs to work that in. He thought he did OK with the German guy this week. He can't remember exactly what he said because the whole time he was wondering if they would use subtitles in the documentary or if there would be some German guy translating what he said. |
| 5:44
| The Springsteen song reminds Steve of our former producer Dan Falato. He's now in that club of people who hate Steve's guts. When he got invited to Pat's wedding he first claimed he didn't get an invitation. |
| 5:45
| When Pat called to follow up he was told by Dan that he didn't want to be in the same room with Steve and if his wife was there he would have killed Steve. That would have put a damper on the wedding because Steve would have had to defend himself. |
| 5:46
| Whenever there's killing at a wedding, or even just a fight, it's always a big national story. Although if they're not going to spend money marketing the show that might be a good way to go. |
| 5:47
| Sometimes, when Dan was still with the show, we'd play a Springsteen song and he would be able to recount in great detail shows they'd attended, when, and what Steve was wearing. It's all very creepy. |
| 5:48
| Steve's going to refer to an old show log on Dahl.com which we keep archives of. Before he does that there's a procedural thing that goes on at Dahl.com that Steve finds weird. If you go to the show logs it starts with May 2008 and goes down to April of 2007. After the month is over there's a synopsis of what went on. But for the current month it's empty so it seems like nothing is going on. |
| 5:49
| Let's get our show logger on the phone. When Steve calls about the show log Jim should say something other than newsroom. How about Dahl.com Nerve Center? That's more computerish. So why don't we have a synopsis of May? |
| 5:50
| Jim's not sure why, that's just how it was always done. He can change it obviously, there can be a synopsis. No one told him to not put a synopsis. There was a time when there was no synopsis, even within each individual monthly page. |
| 5:51
| Steve has no idea what Jim is saying, does he know what he's saying? It seems like marketing-wise, if you look at the show logs page and May is empty it seems like nothing is happening. This seems like the design of some computer knucklehead but Jim's pretty sure he just started doing it. |
| 5:52
| Is there a reason why there's nothing up there for May? Jim thought that when you used to click on show logs it would take you to the current month. Talking to Jim is like dealing with the IRS or something. Just put a synopsis up there. |
| 5:53
| If you click on May there's a show log but there's no synopsis for today. Steve at least has it where the most recent day is at the top. Procedurally Jim has some issues, they probably view time differently. What day is the first day of the week? Jim thinks it's Monday so they agree on that. |
| 5:58
| Alright we're going to be talking to Patrick Bertoletti but first Steve needs to call the Dahl.com Nerve Center. Steve apologizes to Jim for going on some crazy rant. Jim can do whatever Steve wants on the website. No one complains about it though right? Plenty of people access and read the show logs. |
| 5:59
| Why does Steve even care? Is he going to sit around reading show logs about himself all weekend? Probably not. He does have a funny show log about Dan, Bruce Springsteen and Steve. Dan didn't even want to be in the same room with Steve at Pat's wedding and Dan's wife would have killed Steve. |
| 6:00
| Steve would have been on guard all night if they'd showed up. Steve would have had to sit in the corner of the room with his back to the wall and you can't do that as the father of the groom. He has to be up front and vulnerable, open to attacks from the dance floor or anywhere. She could have been lying in wait in one of the phone booths or pretending to be a back-up singer in the band. |
| 6:01
| Steve went down some sort of crazy rabbit hole there, he doesn't care as long as everyone is happy. Why does Steve fixate on crap like that? Last night for a half hour he had a temper-tantrum, just to himself, that Brendan hadn't posted any new sketches from the R. Kelly trial. He emailed everyone on the show but then deleted it and didn't send it. |
| 6:02
| Brendan's a bonehead, what more can he expect. He's operating at maximum output although we do have some new sketches we're scanning in. But then Steve got worried that Brendan was too big for his britches and was going to start selling sketches to the Sun-Times. |
| 6:03
| Steve's having his period right now. Every time he gets out of the shower and towels off there's blood. He doesn't know where it's coming from but it ain't good. |
| 6:04
| Jim shouldn't worry about it, just make sure everything is groovy. And he always does. Steve has to say that, with the exception of Adam, we have a really great staff. Steve likes to say that because he's learned that Adam is such a bad ass because he's really scared. Is he like Steve's version of Toby from The Office? |
| 6:05
| Steve was thinking that, in spite of all of his complaining just now, we have a great staff. Even our own Vicki, who brought Steve some donuts and snuck them right by Mary. We also have a new intern, Jordan, who Steve hasn't met yet. |
| 6:06
| Adam introduced her to Jim before the show. He's like Hugh Hefner, he's turning his office in a grotto. He needs to make sure everyone's internship is well-rounded. |
| 6:07
| How did Jim and Wrigley enjoy the Cubs game yesterday? Does Buzz want a donut? He actually already had some toast and jam today. He's such a drag. There was nothing Jim could do to stop Buzz from eating toast, we'll have to steal his toaster. That will buy us at least 2 or 3 weeks, he won't know where to find a new one. Can you even get a toaster in a store? Do they still make them? |
| 6:08
| Did Steve mitigate that whole situation? Because he went down some sort of rabbit hole there. Buzz wanted to step in but he had no idea what either of them were talking about. Buzz probably doesn't even know we have a website. |
| 6:09
| Buzz is like the guy at the bar who steps in during a fight, pointing out to everyone that there's plenty of poontang to go around, no need to fight over one girl. |
| 6:10
| Steve's not sure what happened but he is wearing some constricting pants today for his Woodfield Nissan appearance. Sometimes tight pants put you in a bad mood. Buzz wouldn't know but when you have to use a pneumatic device to get your pants on and the jaws of life to zip them up it'll put you in a bad mood. |
| 6:11
| Live read: Illinois Lottery |
| 6:12
| Steve doesn't have a lottery ticket yet but he'll be getting one. Perhaps that's something the new intern can go out and do. |
| 6:13
| Patrick Bertoletti is on the phone. Steve's been trying to find a song to play for Patrick. He's got something by Ani DiFranco, does she swear? |
| 6:14
| This Ani DiFranco song sort of perfectly captures Patrick in a nutshell if you'll pardon the expression. |
| 6:15
| Patrick thought we could use a drop from the Eric & Kathy interview where he gave the phone to his roommate. Steve's not aware of that. |
| 6:16
| Right after the oyster contest they wanted an interview and Patrick didn't feel like talking to them. So he let his roommate do the interview and then bought it. It's always fun when you can get up and prank Eric & Kathy. |
| 6:17
| Patrick didn't like how they kept calling him Deep Dish, especially Eric. It made him want to change his nickname. Eric is kind of a tool. |
| 6:18
| Kathy is on maternity leave right now but they've got that other hot girl who works on the show, Melissa. She works out across the street where Steve works out. |
| 6:19
| The last time we talked to Patrick he was going up to Minneapolis for the Nathan's qualifier. He won and ate 41 hot dogs in 10 minutes. It might be a new world record for that amount of time. Normally it's 12 minutes at Nathan's. |
| 6:20
| Patrick thinks he can eat more but the hot dogs over the weekend were cold. He can probably do at least 50 at Nathan's when they're warm. |
| 6:21
| Steve is coming along for that over the Fourth of July weekend. Can Steve be his corner man? When that Japanese fella pukes again Steve can argue viciously on Patrick's behalf. |
| 6:22
| If it happens again Steve is going to point it out and make sure that the people watching at home see what's going on. |
| 6:23
| Sometime during this week there's going to be a Nintendo Wii competitive eating game. There's new software for he Wii where you can download games, including the competitive eating game. It'll feature Patrick, Joey Chestnut, The Black Widow, Kobayashi and 6 or 7 other eaters. |
| 6:24
| Patrick's character looks freaky because they went with his mohawk and mustache look. All of the eaters got some money and were told there'd be royalties depending on games sold. |
| 6:25
| It sounds like it's about time for Patrick to get representation. He doesn't like the way he looks in the game and now he's probably not getting as much money as he should be getting. He should have gotten money up front against the royalties. |
| 6:26
| Every eater got $500 up front but there were no specifics about the royalties. It sounds like he got ripped off. |
| 6:27
| Patrick signed a contract with the IFOCE and they own his image. That contract is up next year. We might have to go in and Urlacher it. |
| 6:35
| Live read: The Little Guys |
| 6:36
| Alright back to Patrick Bertoletti, the #2 ranked competitive eater in the world. We knew him all the way back when he was #6. Patrick thinks it goes back further to #10. We stuck with him through the good times and the bad. |
| 6:37
| We might have branded Patrick a loser when he was #10 and lost interest. But it was just to toughen him up, like Coach would do. And Patrick rose to the challenge. |
| 6:38
| Technically Patrick came in second place at Nathan's last year. That Japanese fella should have been disqualified for puking. Had Steve been there he would have made a stink about it. |
| 6:39
| If Steve stays that night he'll get to meet all the other competitive eaters. Pete's going to be in New York that weekend too right? Those two in New York together, the mind boggles. They'll be two wild and crazy guys hitting all the hot spots, having some authentic New York pizza at Sbarro's. Patrick says they have a great buffet. |
| 6:40
| Steve does like Nathan's though so he might have to get a few of those, probably before the competition. Watching that competition is nauseating. Patrick likes their hot dogs too but they don't know how to eat them properly. He's had one with ketchup and sauerkraut. |
| 6:41
| Nathan's is mustard and sauerkraut. Maybe Patrick is thinking of Papaya King. Now Steve has to explain Papaya King to everyone. It's a place that serves hot dogs and papaya smoothies. Steve's never been but apparently it's a delicious combo. |
| 6:42
| Alright let's go to the tape from the Eric & Kathy show from last month. It was right after Patrick ate 35 dozen oysters in 8 minutes. They wanted to talk to Patrick but he didn't feel like talking to them, which we appreciate. |
| 6:43
| Patrick's roommate sounds a lot like Patrick so it all worked pretty well. |
| 6:44
| Coming up this weekend Patrick's going to Texas for the gyro eating contest. Steve loves gyros but they're so bad for you. |
| 6:45
| Buzz has never heard Steve praise the gyro until recently. He doesn't like to talk about them because then he'll want to go get one. He also likes to get them well-done. |
| 6:46
| We have more of this interview if Patrick wants to hear it. As it turns out Patrick's roommate might be funnier than he is. |
| 6:47
| This is where Eric starts to ask about oysters being an aphrodisiac but then pulls back. That's how much of a wuss he is. |
| 6:48
| It's actually Kathy who goes on to take the sex question because that's how they do it, it's like Sex and the City. |
| 6:49
| How much more of this interview is there? Pete only has a minute left but he also has the podcast of their show. Pete's explanation is longer than the remainder of the clip. |
| 6:50
| That's probably enough right? And Eric & Kathy never knew it wasn't Patrick? That's awesome. |
| 6:51
| So Patrick's next competition is gyros in Texas. How did Texas get so big with the competitive eating? Steve's been trying to get the station to sponsor something in Chicago that's a sanctioned event. |
| 6:52
| It would have to be either Italian beef or deep-dish pizza, which would be tough to eat. But if Patrick won that contest, he'd have the crown and he'd be named Deep Dish. |
| 6:53
| Patrick doesn't like Deep Dish of course, he prefers thin crust. That's what he wanted his nickname to be but it doesn't sound as good. |
| 7:00
| Steve is definitely going to Nathan's this summer and if that Kobayashi kid pukes he'll go nuts. Watch for it on TV. |
| 7:01
| Caller John remembers the Nathan's competition from last year and he was really mad because one of the eaters held up a sign that said "Hermione dies." This was right before the last Harry Potter book came out. |
| 7:02
| John was so mad that this guy was ruining the book for him. Harry Potter?! That's a kid's book! C'mon! Steve knows nothing about those books, you know why? Because he's an adult! |
| 7:03
| That was Eater X holding up the sign but as it turns out it wasn't even accurate. Hermione did not die. John only knows about this because he reads the books to his kids right? |
| 7:04
| John actually enjoys the books on his own, they're pretty good. Steve doesn't care, they're too long and reading is for losers. He's sure they're good but the 800 pages turned him away. |
| 7:05
| John just wanted to add that he thinks the morning show is even better than the afternoon show. |
| 7:06
| Steve appreciates that coming off of yesterday's post-show meeting with Todd Cavanah. For some reason he decided to read Steve a bunch of comments from people who hate him. Why does he need to hear that? |
| 7:07
| And Steve was going to go off on him because the second song they played after the show ended yesterday was Rock Me Amadeus! That's 80s dance music, it's our core! |
| 7:08
| The comments were from a survey which Todd thinks is research. Steve's been doing this for 30 years, he doesn't need to do any research. There are just some people who can't cope with the fact that they're not hearing any music in the morning. |
| 7:09
| Live read: Paulina Meat Market |
| 7:10
| They have the best beef jerky at Paulina Meat Market, Steve's pretty sure they make it from the tri-tip. |
| 7:11
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 7:12
| Steve's going to be at Woodfield Nissan today from noon to 2 signing some autographs and giving out concert tickets. Steve will be signing them right there and if he can think of anything clever to write he'll do that too. |
| 7:13
| Steve's not sure he wants to be giving away New Kids tickets in the traditional raffle style Jill will probably demand. He'd prefer to keep them to himself and maybe hand them out back in the parts department. |
| 7:14
| Caller Jack is telling Steve to turn on the Today's Show, they've got the New Kids and it's the biggest crowd they've ever seen. Although now Steve's telling people to turn the radio off and turn the TV on. |
| 7:15
| Steve doesn't care about the New Kids, only the girls they attract. They could be hit by a bus for all he cares, as long as it's after the show so they tickets aren't void. |
| 7:16
| He does have to give kudos to the New Kids though for this reunion. They're going to get more tail than a vet. More tail than a lobster fisherman. |
| 7:17
| Steve still has something to read from a show log that pertains to Bruce Springsteen and Dan Falato, the guy who wouldn't go to Pat Dahl's wedding because his wife would have killed him. |
| 7:18
| Steve doesn't even know why Dan hates him, he's the one who quit. There's a whole group of people who Steve helped who now hate him. That's why he's so hesitant to help people. |
| 7:24
| Steve wants that guy who called before the break to call back. There are two ways to approach things, Steve went glass half empty. The guy was probably just trying to point out all the women who were there. |
| 7:25
| Steve always talks about things that are happening on TV. His pants are too tight today and it's put him in a bad mood. He has his workout shorts in the car, he might have to switch to those. |
| 7:26
| He might have to just sit in his boxers until the shorts arrive, is that OK? Steve doesn't want anyone filing a grievance. We've got the new intern today, is that the way Steve wants to meet her? Of course it is. |
| 7:27
| Alright Jack is back on the phone, Steve apologizes, he's got the tight pants. Jack says he has personal problems. He's still irritating Steve. |
| 7:28
| Just for the record when Steve says his pants are too tight don't say personal problems. Some of Steve's self-loathing might come from Todd outing him to Mary yesterday. |
| 7:29
| On the way back from the gym Steve was really hungry. For years Steve never really did anything for himself, he had people doing it for him, like the guy who got him Reuben sandwiches. |
| 7:30
| Steve happened to walk in right by the scones and they had this orange one with an orange glaze. Steve decided he wanted a second one so he reached back in and grabbed it. |
| 7:31
| Then he decided he didn't want two and thought he'd give one to his masseuse. But then Steve ate both of them so that could be why his pants are too tight. |
| 7:32
| Todd sent Mary a text message telling her that the scones are why Steve's pants are too tight. That's not right. He thought they had a code. |
| 7:33
| Steve went in there looking to make a healthy choice and he was going to get some low-fat vegetarian chili but it was too late. He already had a bag with two scones in it. |
| 7:34
| Steve is taking Todd to the Sox game next Thursday, he doesn't need him giving everyone a full report of what he ate. |
| 7:35
| Live read: National City |
| 7:36
| Todd says that anything talked about after 5 pm is in the cone of silence. That's not enough of a cut-off for Steve. If he sees you in the lobby and talks to you he expects that to be kept quiet. Todd has told Steve plenty of things that he's coned up on. |
| 7:37
| News with Buzz |
| 7:38
| A new audio tape of Osama bin Laden has been released. He comments on the 60th anniversary of Israel and vows to carry on his fight against the nation. Dirk, the guy who is doing the Disco Demolition documentary, mainly does documentaries about terrorist groups. |
| 7:39
| He said all of them are unorganized and they're just hiding in caves. All of the candidates know this but they won't say it. Mohammad Atta was not the mastermind of 9/11 but his last name is the word for leader in some language. |
| 7:40
| It's only 410 calories for one scone so that's a quick 820 on Steve's way out to Lisle. He can't believe Todd outed him. He doesn't even know if they're going to be able to cruise for monstrosities next week at the Sox game. |
| 7:41
| President Bush's comment yesterday in Israel are being viewed by some as a direct attack on Barack Obama. Obama is in favor of negotiating with some terrorist groups. |
| 7:42
| You have to think if someone would have just gone over to Iraq and talked to Saddam they would have learned that he didn't have any WMDs. Maybe he could have also told us how he kept a lid on Nutjob City. |
| 7:43
| Steve calls up to the office. Stephanie saw Steve with the Au Bon Pain yesterday but he didn't say anything to anyone until she was first told about it by Mary. Next time she could come up to Steve, he'd probably give her a scone. |
| 7:44
| Steve can't believe you can just walk into Au Bon Pain and take whatever you want. Well you have to pay for it, but you just grab it yourself. It's that system that resulted in the bad soup during the afternoon show though. |
| 7:45
| Tina used to go over there in the afternoon and get soup but she'd come back with broth because everyone else had cherry picked all the noodles and vegetables out. |
| 7:46
| The scones were actually the first thing Steve saw. He got one and then he went back for the second one. There was also artisan bread, he thought about getting one of those, slicing it open and shoving a scone in there. |
| 7:47
| Did Stephanie get Steve's shorts yet? She was just going to get those right now. Steve can't take any more of these tight pants. Does she have a sewing machine down there, maybe she could let these pants out. |
| 7:48
| Steve always forgets that since we start at 5:30 am there's really nothing open down here. Stephanie probably couldn't go to Rochester Big & Tall and get him some new pants. |
| 7:49
| Really though 2 scones, that's sick. Can Steve just have his jaw wired shut before and after the show and then post a guard at the door during the show? Maybe just a little place to put a padlock, like a nutritional chastity belt. He has nothing else to say the rest of the day. |
| 7:50
| Steve's involved in a time share and he has to use the time. Stephanie had planned a vacation that fell right around when we left WCKG for Jack. She canceled the trip but took it last week in one of Steve's time shares. |
| 7:51
| Stephanie's friend went on the trip with her and was so grateful she said she'd be Steve's slave. The friend is black and didn't want Steve to take it the wrong way. |
| 7:52
| If Steve owned a plantation in the South in the 1840s all of his slaves would have loved him. He could show them where the Underground Railroad is but they wouldn't even want to leave. |
| 7:57
| They took Buzz's "late for dinner" joke and Britishized it on The Simpsons. Steve's an Anglophile but only because he watches The Tudors on Showtime. |
| 7:58
| When Steve and Pat went to London they ended up at the Tower of London. Steve wanted to go right to the hotel and sleep but they tell you to stay up and sleep that night. There was a big fight about that and they ended up at the Tower of London. |
| 7:59
| Steve was so tired that he didn't care about anything he saw and he wasn't impressed by it. Now he's seeing all that stuff on The Tudors. |
| 8:00
| Live read: Illinois Lottery |
| 8:01
| It's time for the Eight O'Clock Taco Bell. Steve needs to change into his shorts, which were just brought to him now. Apparently Stephanie forgot where the garage was! |
| 8:02
| Steve needs to change his pants before he eats this chalupa, otherwise the button will fly off. Or he could just wear his pants unbuttoned like that truck driver. |
| 8:03
| What ever happened to that guy? What about the toxicology reports? Why did he just drive into that L station? |
| 8:04
| Alright let's go back to the news with Buzz |
| 8:05
| John Edwards is one of those people criticizing President Bush's remarks from yesterday. He also said he wasn't interested in being the Vice President at this time. |
| 8:06
| John McCain spoke at the annual NRA conference yesterday. Is it just Steve or does McCain look more and more like that uncle who comes to the family parties with his pants unzipped and doesn't even notice? |
| 8:07
| California repealed a gay marriage ban yesterday and advocates couldn't be happier. Who cares if people get married or not? |
| 8:08
| Two homes near Mayo Daley's Michigan home were damaged last month, shortly after he received a threatening letter. Some believe the fires were retaliation for the cougar shooting. Apparently they didn't know where he lived. That seems insane though. |
| 8:09
| A Missouri woman who tormented a 13-year-old girl and lead to her suicide has been indicted. The young girl believed she was talking to a 16-year-old boy. |
| 8:10
| The jury is now set in the child pornography trial of R. Kelly. We'll get Brendan in here to talk about it after the break. The jury is made up of 8 white people and 4 black people, something Kelly's lawyers are not happy about it. |
| 8:11
| Members of a group called Mercy for Animals plan to hold a candlelight vigil outside of city hall to protest the repeal of the foie gras ban. Do they know what candles are made from? It's either wax stolen from bees or tallow taken from dead cows that were killed for steak. |
| 8:12
| Before Buzz does his last story can we hear from an expert on patè? It's a gentleman who was raised on a goose farm so he knows a few things. |
| 8:13
| If you lived on a farm and had geese they would be a pest. If Steve could catch a goose he'd force feed it and get some patè. Let these people from |
| 8:14
| Mercy for Animals take a goose home for a week. Let it go to the bathroom in their house and after that they'll be getting it ready for some patè. |
| 8:15
| Finally from our celebrity bureau, there are reports that Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson are no longer dating. He did say he will escort her to her sister's wedding. |
| 8:16
| It sounds like he just wants her as a booty call. That's a pretty good booty call if you can make that happen. |
| 8:17
| Steve has an exclusive about Tony Romo. He was cozying up to an unknown blond over the weekend but she doesn't work at Hooters. Was this in Chicago? |
| 8:18
| The girl is blond, a Michigan State graduate with a steady boyfriend (probably not any more) and a former sorority girl. |
| 8:19
| Steve has his lottery tickets, he's $5 closer to complete financial freedom. He'd probably peel off a million for Buzz. |
| 8:20
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 8:28
| Steve has a lot of stuff to do. He's got something from Anthony Bourdain's show where he visits a goose farm and shows they're not being treated cruelly. |
| 8:29
| Live read: Townstone Financial |
| 8:30
| Steve's working a new concept for these live reads. He was thinking once a week David could come up with a scrip and Steve and Buzz would play two people seeking a loan and David could play himself. |
| 8:31
| Do we have time to play this Ton Bourdain thing? If it's too visual Steve's going to bail on it. |
| 8:34
| They have a funnel and there's a tube attached to it and they just put some food in. The goose doesn't even seem to care, it's being fed and doesn't have to do any work. |
| 8:35
| Then they talk to a vet about the feeding of the duck. If the duck were human this feeding method would be a valid concern. |
| 8:36
| Goose farmers want to keep the animals happy and comfortable. A distressed duck produces a bad foie gras. |
| 8:37
| Alright time for a Mailbag, brought to us by the Acura Dealers Association. |
| 8:38
| The first email is about today's Thought for the Day which was "Join me today at Woodfield Nissan (700 West Higgins Road in Hoffman Estates) from noon to 2:00 pm, and then we'll head over to the mall to skateboard and hang out at the food court." |
| 8:39
| The emailer won't be able to make it to Woodfield Nissan because of work but if he hustles he should be able to make it to the mall by 2. Steve's not really going to the mall, he hates to break this guy's heart. |
| 8:40
| If Steve goes to Woodfield Mall it'll be before noon if he leaves here early. If he has some time to kill he'll probably go to the Apple Store and maybe Cinnabon. |
| 8:41
| We have not done the web poll yet and we also need to talk to Brendan about the R. Kelly stuff. Brendan has a story that ties into the web poll so we'll get started on that. |
| 8:42
| Yesterday's web poll question was "How do you take your tequila?" Steve used to take his orally but doesn't take it at all any more. 51% of the people take their tequila with a splash of club soda and lime. |
| 8:43
| Today's web poll question is "Do you like the self check out supermarkets?" And here's the story from the Sun-Times The Fixer, Stephanie Zimmerman. That's Pete's mom right? |
| 8:44
| In all the years Pete has been here Steve has never met his parents. Maybe he's ashamed of them. Steve's pretty sure he's met Jim's parents. |
| 8:45
| Steve calls down to the weather center. Jim's not sure if he's met his parents. They were at several Dahlfins shows but it might have not happened. |
| 8:46
| Brendan's pretty sure that Pete views Catman as his family. Just because he was on all week reporting doesn't mean he can just take over and force Steve into his Catman bit. |
| 8:47
| The Catman is of course the ass bandit who would take your girlfriend right out from under you. Maybe Brendan was on to something here. |
| 8:48
| Self checkout lanes have been in Chicago stores for a few years. There are several reader emails from people who like and dislike the self checkout lanes. |
| 8:49
| Steve loves the automated checkout. That way he can pretend he's a cashier and then be rude to himself. |
| 8:50
| One person suggests a 10 items or less limit for the self checkout which is a good idea. |
| 8:51
| And now Brendan has his own story. Sometimes Brendan gets a scam going where he tells his mom he'll do the shopping for everyone. Steve has met Brendan's mom. He's actually Brendan's dad, that's how much he met his mom. |
| 8:52
| In exchange for Brendan doing the shopping he gets to buy a bunch of stuff for himself. So he rolls up to the self checkout line with a cart full of stuff. Brendan's service is called Fleapod because he just sucks the blood. |
| 8:53
| Brendan got all jammed up because he had so many items and it won't let you go on until you start bagging stuff. |
| 8:54
| Brendan must have been there for an hour trying to bag his groceries. Then one of the employees kept having to come over and help him. |
| 8:55
| Steve uses the self checkout at Home Depot. It sounds like Brendan is better off going to the regular checkout line. |
| 8:56
| Caller Dave has run into similar problems at the self checkout. Whenever there are people waiting it makes it even tougher. You get stage fright, like when you're in the men's room. |
| 9:04
| Alright let's go back to Brendan and the R. Kelly trial coverage. Buzz is wondering how you get "Baffroom" in this R. Kelly song. You need to sound more street when you're living in Olympia Fields. |
| 9:05
| Weird Al has a Trapped in the Closet parody from his album Straight out of Linwood. He has to buy the entire album to get it though. |
| 9:06
| Steve is going to download it though because that's the kind of commitment he has to the show. He'll delete everything else because what if he were to die suddenly? He couldn't have a Weird Al album on his iTunes. |
| 9:07
| Alright Steve has Trapped in the Drive-Thru by Weird Al. |
| 9:12
| Steve has to stop this song because there's another 5 minutes. R. Kelly is a genius for coming up with this format but Weird Al has improved on it. It's really Weird Al's masterpiece. |
| 9:20
| Live read: Woodfield Nissan |
| 9:21
| Steve's going to be at Woodfield Nissan today from noon to 2. You can get an autographed photo and a chance to win concert tickets. It's going to be a photo of Buzz so it'll have some value. |
| 9:22
| Steve's still not sure if he'll give away those New Kids tickets, he might hang on to them because they're very valuable. Maybe he will go over to Woodfield with those tickets. |
| 9:23
| Alright going back to R. Kelly. First off Brendan failed to notice that R had been rebraided and cleaned up. Buzz thinks they're still using file footage for the first day on the news. |
| 9:24
| R has a song about the girl who braids his hair and stays all night. Can we play that or is there profanity? Steve hates it when they swear. Brendan says he only swears a little bit but that's too much on the radio. |
| 9:25
| He's also trimmed his beard down to a goatee. But he still has the corn rows, they're just cleaned up. At this point he can't back off of the corn rows all together. |
| 9:26
| Steve would have gone with a Leon Phelps Ladies Man look. It's an afro but not totally blown out. |
| 9:27
| Steve's downloading Hair Braider right now. How much money is he going to put back into this show today? |
| 9:28
| It sounds like Hair Braider was written by Weird Al. R. Kelly must have heard Trapped in the Drive-Thru and hired him. |
| 9:29
| All of the sudden Steve wants to get his hair braided, it sounds really fun doing that with your pants off. |
| 9:30
| Steve just going to read the lyrics because the song is hard to hear. We've got all next week to talk about the jury selection. |
| 9:31
| Bill Kurtis is here, he knows Steve still has his cookbook, plus that old show log he was going to read. Way to lead the audience on and then not deliver! That's what they do at A & E. |
| 9:32
| Bill's going to read the lyrics to R. Kelly's Hair Braider. |
| 9:34
| That song makes Bill want to go down to the ranch and braid the hair on his cattle. Brendan's buying this album. |
| 9:35
| Yesterday when everyone met in the courtroom before they went into the conference room for jury selection they had a separate hearing in front of the judge. |
| 9:36
| So the defendant comes in and he keeps looking back at R. Kelly, not paying attention, had a big smile on his face. The judge finally asked him what he was looking at and told him he would hold him in contempt if he didn't stop. |
| 9:37
| That judge is not messing around. Brendan had another interaction with him yesterday. He came in with the reporter from the Sun-Times who's British. |
| 9:38
| The judge told everyone in the courtroom to try to guess which member of the media was in radio. The British guy introduced himself and then Brendan introduced himself and everyone started laughing, including R. |
| 9:39
| Maybe if R does get out of this he'll take Brendan on the road as his MC, or at least the ID checker. R's entourage really failed him on this one, someone should have kept those underage girls away. |
| 9:40
| Just keep an orthodontist on hand and have him put braces on 17 to 20-year-old girls. |
| 9:41
| Steve's microphone just fell off it's mooring. Should Steve take a break and then talk to Peanut Butter? |
| 9:42
| Brendan did a good job this week. He's got some more sketches up on Dahl.com too. Steve's going to take a break and then talk to Peanut Butter but he's also got some Drew Peterson stuff that'll blow a hole in his head if he doesn't get it out. |
| 9:49
| Steve's pretty sure Buzz didn't hear that but he'd like to play it again. It's Hawk and DJ talking over the counter pharmaceuticals. |
| 9:50
| Also it's Peanut Butter Jelly Time with Pat Boyle. People don't care about Pat or the sports, just the song. |
| 9:51
| OK, let's enjoy this Hawk and DJ audio once again. There's something going on up in that booth lately though. |
| 9:52
| Steve thinks maybe Hawk or at least DJ was listening to what he was saying. Hawk is still talking about the White Sox too much. |
| 9:53
| Dirty Thirty, Nick Swisher, must have been listening to Steve because he shaved off the beard and got rid of all that other stuff and now he looks like a normal baseball player. |
| 9:54
| Steve needs to read this Drew Peterson article. Most people probably know that the Cubs and Sox won last night. How sweet were those Angels jerseys from the 70s? |
| 9:55
| Drew has something he has to get off his chest, he can't go into the weekend holding on to this. The latest lady in Drew's life, the one he rescued from a traffic stop last week, is keeping an open mind about her new older friend. |
| 9:56
| Drew met the 22-year-old through his friend Steve Carcerano. There's a friend right there, through thick and thin. Carcerano is Drew's wingman. He's Zippy to Drew's Pete Zimmerman. |
| 9:57
| Carcerano tans at the salon where this girl works. Mr. Fat Steve Dahl falsely accused Drew of tanning recently but he doesn't. He just has a ruddy complexion from working outdoors. |
| 9:58
| Since then the girl and Drew have spoken often and she spent the night at his home. Nothing physical took place according to the girl but Peterson didn't seem so sure. He said "never nothing physical" enigmatically. |
| 9:59
| The woman lives with her mother and must not approve of what is going on between a 54-year-old man and a woman 32 years his junior. 22 is a new low for Drew. |
| 10:00
| Do we have to go through the history of this case in every article? Drew's a suspect in the disappearance of this 4th wife and the death of his 3rd wife is being treated as a homicide. |
| 10:01
| Parents and friends are not happy about it but she thinks if there was something wrong Drew would be in jail. She's sticking up for him there. |
| 10:02
| Live read: The Little Guys |
