July 6, 2010

00:00

Today is Tell-a-Friend Tuesday, July 6th and this is DahlCast #212. How was Stephanie’s weekend? It seems like she got some color and by that Steve doesn’t mean she started dating a black guy. Steve disapproves of interracial dating but he’s OK with interracial marriage. Of course you can’t really get married unless you date first. Steve is really all about racial purity. His sons aren’t even his own, he imported them from Sweden.

00:01

Here we go with the start of the show.

00:02

Steve needs to stop the show open because Tom Thayer is on hold and the longer he waits the madder he gets. Tom doesn’t mind, he thought that whole thing about hot dog eating was his introduction. His hot dog record is around 17 in a day. He had 8 and school and 9 at home later that night. Steve’s record is 4 in a day but he was never in a competition. He was waiting for a plane at LaGuardia and he got 2 from the Nathan’s stand and then 2 more.

00:03

Steve could probably eat 20 hot dogs but he wouldn’t do it the way they do at the Nathan’s competition. That is just disgusting with people dipping hot dogs in water and puking in their mouth. Don’t even get Steve started on that and we’ll be talking to Patrick Bertoletti later. In other news, how was Tom’s Fourth of July?

00:04

Tom was in Joliet for the Fourth and his niece brought her new baby. So the entire day was filled with baby talk. Even when the baby was napping there was baby talk. There was also a lot of bike riding around the city and a lot of people asking Steve Dahl questions. The people knew about the podcast, which is good. Steve has run into a lot of people who know about the podcast but it’s still not enough for them.

00:05

At the East Bank Club a lot of people were asking Tom about Steve’s golf game and when he’s coming back to the gym. They have not rocked the EBC since Tom has been back in town so they need to do that. Steve has to say he is a little disappointed that Tom didn’t say anything about his weight loss when they went to the Sox game. Tom noticed it but he doesn’t want to say anything.

00:06

When they hug Tom definitely notices the weight loss. It did seem like he lingered longer on the hug at the Sox game. Then they had that awkward moment having to stand for the National Anthem in the buffet restaurant at The Cell. Tom also watched some MMA fighting over the weekend. Steve always forgets that he likes MMA. At first it seems gay and then it’s just insane.

00:07

Steve doesn’t really like the cage aspect of MMA; do all of them have a cage? Then people get their toes and feet hooked into the chain link and it’s just weird.

00:08

There’s a big wrestling community in the Midwest so the guys who spend their whole life doing it can continue doing it in the MMA. The best MMA guys are the ones who have that long-time background in wrestling, going back to high school.

00:09

Right before Tom left Hawaii he attended a youth wrestling match. YES! It was the biggest tournament in the state of Hawaii and because of MMA wrestling has gotten much more popular. They must have some badass wrestler in Hawaii because people are big over there.

00:10

During the tsunami that never was, CNN was streaming footage from the porch of a Hawaiian MMA guy.

00:11

Next time MMA is in town Steve and Tom need to go to it, in their tight t-shirts. Just like at hockey, Tom has noticed that the hottest chicks around go to the MMA fights. You can’t look at those girls though or you’ll end up in a fight. The girls are wearing the tightest clothing too and you can’t look at them. You don’t want to get in a stare down with another attendee at a pay-per-view MMA fight.

00:12

Are there fights in the stands at MMA fights? You have to think there’s a lot of testosterone rage at those things.

00:13

Steve wants to hit up the EBC this week with Tom and put on a display for the ladies. Then they can head up to the pool and hit the Jacuzzi. Steve feels Tom is going to be impressed when he sees how strong he is but he won’t say anything.

00:14

Steve hates to have to beg Tom to say something but on the other hand it would be weird if he said he looked fabulous. Steve sort of doesn’t like when people notice his weight loss because it makes him wonder what he looked like before. Let’s all just pretend Steve always looked like this! Steve is going to go back to the show open right now because we had a nice hot dog hunk there.

00:16

The Steve Dahl Show is on right now and it’s also Tell-a-Friend Tuesday so make sure you tell a friend about it!

00:17

Steve went back and looked at some of the older episodes of the DahlCast and people are still downloading the very first one. Steve was impressed with the numbers we’re posting. We have over three million downloads but even the individual show numbers are impressive. Bear with Steve while he strokes himself for a moment.

00:18

We have over 31,000 listens for the first episode. That’s like a sold out White Sox game but it’s just Steve sitting here. That means that everyday new people are learning about the DahlCast. In July alone 97 people have downloaded that very first show.

00:19

Is Steve supposed to have new copy for The Little Guys live read? Every Friday Mary sends Steve an email with the Little Guys copy, in case she perishes. That’s what she says and it’s kind of a bummer. She didn’t perish but Steve doesn’t have the new copy.

00:20

The Fourth of July is definitely a weekend when a lot of people might perish. And people are probably having trouble downloading the show today with only one hand. Of course Bob Probert also died. Steve definitely feels he could take him now. The coroner believes it’s a massive heart attack but based on what Steve knows about him he’d wait to name the final cause of death.

00:21

At least Bob got his own Heritage Night at the United Center, and we’ll always have the interview Steve did with him. Steve was at a Chris Chelios golf outing and he had just read an article about Probert’s last days of drinking. He started at the Landing Strip in Detroit and ended up in Troy, Michigan, boyhood home of our own Pat Boyle.

00:22

Bob was on his motorcycle and he hit a car then flipped over and landed on the fake Astroturf they used to have at Shell gas stations. When the police showed up Bob told them “charge me with the usual”. So Steve was on the air talking to Bob about that and it was kind of weird.

00:23

A year or two later Steve asked him about it again, completely forgetting that they’d already talked about it and it didn’t go well.

00:24

So Steve brought it up again and Bob got mad at him because he wanted to put it in the past. When you’re in AA you talk about all that stuff you did before and one of the best parts about being sober is getting to talk about all the awesome stuff you did.

00:25

Steve plays the Bob Probert audio.

00:26

Afterwards Bob was chasing Steve around in a golf cart telling him he was going to kick his ass. He never did though. Steve doesn’t know anyone who became sober that minds talking about their past. Of course a few years later he became a cabana boy at a hotel in Florida and went home with a couple then got arrested.

00:27

Now Bob is dead though. He was kind of an ass although he was a good fighter. Steve still feels like he could have taken him if they were both on their feet. Steve has leverage, weight and boxing know-how. Let’s not forget Angelo Dundee schooled him.

00:28

Steve was friends with Vince Dundee in grade school and his uncle was Angelo Dundee. They got a few pointers from him and they were the kind of things that your opponent couldn’t work around. So keep that in mind Pete if you ever want to have fisticuffs with Steve. Pete will remember that but he’s not much of a fighter. He’s more of a lover.

00:29

Live read: The Little Guys

00:31

OK, let’s get to some phone calls. The first caller saw Laurence Holmes on Fox talking to Anna Devlantes about LeBron and his voice seems deeper on TV than it does on the DahlCast. Let’s take a listen.

00:32

His voice does sound different on TV but not horribly different. He stole that idea about LeBron staying in Cleveland and signing a three-year deal from Steve! It does seem like he’s going to stay in Cleveland because he’s from there! If he leaves they would hate him! Plus it’s not like the Cavs have been bad, they’ve made it to the playoffs.

00:33

Pete saw an article in one of the papers today comparing LeBron to Michael Jordan. He could have left after 7 years in Chicago, before the 1991 season. The Bulls had made the playoffs but never won it all. It’s easy to write that article in hindsight though.

00:34

Steve can’t take any more of the LeBron talk though. He thought it was going to be over yesterday, what happened to that? He wants to wait until after his basketball camp for boys. Pete was also reading that Steve’s favorite broadcaster, Jim Memolo, kept teasing about some breaking LeBron news. It wasn’t really news, just his theory. He thinks LeBron is leaving Cleveland because he’s waiting until after his camp is over to make a decision.

00:35

Steve knows that a million people have said the thing about LeBron signing a three-year deal in Cleveland but Mary had to point that out. She said that people have been saying it for 2 years so it’s not new. Thanks Mary! We get it, you like basketball! Sleep with a black guy and get it over with!

00:36

Caller Dexter has been following Steve for a long time, since WLS. He remembers coming up to Chicago and watching Steve in the Showroom studio for hours and hours. He also wanted to let Steve know that he approves of his lifestyle. He did have a question for Steve about slammin’ the ham. When he does it, he likes to let out a catchphrase at the culmination so his family knows it’s safe to come in the kitchen or wherever he is. The kitchen?!

00:37

The next caller is with a friend who watched “The Human Centipede” with his girlfriend. The friend gets on the line to give his review of the movie.

00:38

Steve doesn’t get what the girlfriend had to do with that call? Steve thought the girlfriend was being offered up to him and that didn’t happen so it was kind of disappointing.

00:39

The next caller has a great idea for a ringtone where you keep saying “ring” louder and louder so it gets more irritating the longer the phone rings. Steve still has his iPhone 4 in its box. He’s afraid to open it because of the bad stuff he’s heard about it.

00:40

There is a metal ring around the phone, which is the antenna. Steve has heard that you could possibly short out the antenna just by touching it a certain way. There are rubber rings you can guy to go around it but Steve doesn’t have one yet. It seems like a major design flaw though; you’d think one of their engineers would have thought of that in advance.

00:41

Apple also isn’t selling any accessories for the new iPhone, which seems pointless. Steve is very disappointed with the iPhone 4 and he hasn’t even opened it yet! And this is coming off the disappointment of the iPad, which is stupid. The iPhone 4 is stupid too and Apple is stupid.

00:42

Seriously, how can you have that big of a design flaw on the iPhone and then fix it with software? So Steve is not switching over to his iPhone 4 until he gets a case for it. The case Steve likes the best is a Marware that hooks on to a thing that goes on your best.

00:43

Steve did get an AT&T microcell for the condo up in Michigan. They don’t get any reception for AT&T phones up there and this is a thing you buy and hook it up to the internet. Somehow it becomes a cell tower in your own house. So now everyone gets great AT&T reception so they can text each other and not talk to anyone else.

00:44

Steve might get one for the basement too because our phones don’t work that well. Also it’s just cool to have and it was hooked up with relative ease. The whole family was astounded and amazed. Pete asks if it was the highlight of the weekend.

00:45

Steve had a pretty uncomplicated weekend; everyone was very well behaved including Steve. Steve and Janet went up on Friday and Mike and his fiancé were already there. Pat and his wife came up also and they had dinner at the New Buffalo yacht club. If you saw the place you’d think it was funny that they call it a yacht club. They did pizza on Saturday and then Steve and Janet came back on Sunday for fireworks at the country club, which were awesome. Where Steve’s seats were, the fireworks were only 200 yards away.

00:46

Steve has to say he got a little weepy at the end of the display when the entire sky was filled up with the white fireworks. At some point a club member sang the National Anthem but he was a worse singer than Jim Cornelison.

00:47

It was still fun though. When you can hear the fireworks leaving the tube you know you’re close and the country club is really close their house. Mary just came across something on Wendy Snyder’s Facebook page. She’s a big fan of theirs and Steve can’t see anyone else’s Facebook page because his normal page has no friends.

00:48

Steve has his fan page that allows you to have unlimited friends but he doesn’t operate his normal page like most people do. So he can’t view other people’s pages unless they’re his Friend.

00:49

On Wendy’s page she mentions that Jimmy Mac did the music for the Naperville fireworks display and he “rocked it”. Grow up! Steve does want to do the music for the country club show because it could be better. They played a lot of country music and some of those songs are really stupid.

00:50

There’s one song that mentions all the soldiers who died so we could enjoy chicken fried steak and blue jeans. It’s a good concept but chicken fried steak? Really? So Steve feels he could put together a better music selection and then send it to the fireworks company and they’d sync it up.

00:51

They had the country music and then they’d switch to the John Phillip Sousa marches but it was very old audio so the fidelity wasn’t the same. Steve doesn’t want to offend anyone though and he has a feeling that the old man who sang the anthem is somehow involved in it.

00:52

Pete thinks Steve should submit a tape anonymously because there are probably other people at the club who feel the same way but don’t want to offend the old man. Steve’s going to say something but first he needs to determine if there is a fireworks committee. They put on a great display and it’s very close to the house.

00:53

Steve has no idea why Wendy and Mac went to Naperville for the fireworks because the one he and Janet attended is closest to them. They must have been going to see Foghat, or a Foghat cover band. For some reason this year the display was closed to the public unless you got a wristband, although no one ever checked them.

00:54

Caller Mike has a suggestion for Mike Dahl’s upcoming wedding. There’s a Don Henley song called “Wedding Day” and he had it played at his own wedding. They had several people come up to ask them about it.

00:55

Steve likes Don Henley but Mike Dahl is 27 and probably doesn’t want his dad forcing a Don Henley song on him for his wedding ceremony. Pete imagines that Mike, who is very on the ball, has a tight playlist for the wedding.

00:56

Pete remembers when Steve did those Dahlfins concerts, the staff and the Dahl boys would arrange for limos to take them to and from the show. Just for those rides Mike would make up a playlist. Maybe Steve will do a nice acoustic version of the Don Henley song for Mike’s wedding?

00:57

That caller seemed a little older and he got married 9 years ago so it could have been a second marriage. It has the feel of a hippy destination wedding too. Mike Dahl’s wedding is going to be fairly traditional.

00:58

Janet’s friend Alberta’s son got married last summer in Grand Rapids. She sang at the wedding and Steve found it very weird. She’s a torch singer and she did the “Our Father” but it sounded like she wanted to %@#$ Jesus. He’s not allowed to have sex with girls! Mike already has everything arranged musically for his wedding. Last night he was out at the house bitching about how his brothers don’t have his bachelor party arranged yet.

00:59

Steve doesn’t know what Mike was expecting from his brothers. All they’ve done is got the tickets for the White Sox at Twins game. Steve’s only job was to talk him out of going to Vegas, which he didn’t really want to do. Pat booked a dinner at some kind of Wolfgang Puck Asian fusion restaurant in a museum, which Mike doesn’t want to do.

01:00

There’s a steakhouse Steve recommended but Mike didn’t want to go because it would be too expensive. When Steve told him he was paying for it Mike said he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it. When Steve gave Mike his Sox tickets for tonight he asked him if he’d still be able to enjoy them if they weren’t free. Mike said that was different.

01:01

So Stephanie is working on a reservation for dinner and Ed is working on a gentleman’s club. Janet’s excuse for Pat is that he’s been busy at work and that Matt isn’t a very organized person. Matt was organized enough to get out to the house on Saturday to switch out his motorcycle for Steve’s so he could drive it to New Buffalo.

01:02

For some reason all the restaurants in Minneapolis are booked. There are Sox fans coming up from Chicago probably, but that’s not enough to book up all the restaurants.

01:03

Steve took Mike and Pat to Vegas to Mike’s 21st birthday and they ended up in the Rum Jungle. In order to get a private table they had to get bottle service so Mike and Pat fought over which kind to get. Pat ultimately prevailed with Pusser’s, which is spiced rum. So the Asian fusion restaurant has that kind of feel to it. Asian fusion is very hot right now, that’s what Sunda serves. People don’t really care about Sunda’s food though; they just go because it’s a hot spot.

01:04

The most important thing is that Mike doesn’t want to do Asian fusion. He’s got 17 friends coming up there too. The Vegas trip for Pat’s bachelor party wasn’t as big.

01:05

The next caller is the guy who does the Jim Shorts impersonation. Steve is tired of this guy and can’t understand what he’s saying. Caller Brian is in St. Petersburg and he wanted to let Steve know there is zero oil on their beaches but if Obama or BP could do something about the weddings that keep washing up there and ruining their sunsets, that would be great.

01:06

The next caller is disguising his voice. Is Steve accidentally in the trash folder again? Or are these the calls that she intended Steve to take?

01:07

What’s the deal with those construction workers on the Eisenhower? They’re making $65 an hour and they’re on strike? Plus the Eisenhower project was part of the jobs program to get people working. Apparently these guys didn’t need to work that much if they can just go on strike. Steve wanted this jobs program to be like the WPA or something; he wanted to see people from Englewood who needed a job out there working! These guys want better healthcare and they’re making $65 and hour but they want $70.

01:08

The caller phoned in a few weeks ago and he was pretty drunk. Steve said he should get to a meeting and he went into detox. They let you make phone calls in detox?

01:09

The caller’s wife wasn’t really a fan of Steve’s but because of the example he’s set for this guy she became more of a fan. She wanted to know how to send Steve an email to thank him. Seminude photos are always the best way to thank Steve.

01:10

Steve isn’t sure about the next phone call but it seems like he’s in the trash folder. It seems like there was a lot of drinking going on over the weekend, which led to these calls. At least they’re not out blowing their hands off with fireworks, although that might not have been such a bad thing.

01:11

It seems like this guy has the Kevin Matthews Starter kit with him. Apparently this guy is buying some of the New Mexico meth we see on “Breaking Bad”.

01:12

The next caller wanted to let Pete know that Penske, U-Haul, Menards or Home Depot all rent trucks to people for hauling stuff. All you have to do is have a credit card! Steve is guessing Pete doesn’t even have a credit card. Pete has a debit card, which isn’t the same as a credit card.

01:13

We learned last week that Pete spent 10 months trying to decide if he should take a spare dresser that Brendan had. Eventually Brendan threw it in the alley, which tells you the quality of the dresser. Maybe tomorrow we could have a segment where we look through Craigslist for a piece of furniture for Pete to put his TV on in his bedroom.

01:14

That will give Steve a chance to shop for a new coffee table for the basement also. Mike Dahl took the coffee table in the basement and Janet wants to move the one from upstairs down here and then get a new one. Steve doesn’t want to do that because they have a matching Rattan set up there and Steve doesn’t want to break it up. Janet doesn’t like having matching furniture even though people make matching sets so you can do that.

01:15

Caller Jenny was listening to Wednesday’s DahlCast where Pete was talking about the dresser. She had to stop the show and call in because it’s ridiculous that Pete didn’t rent a van and go get it. It’s the easiest thing in the world! Does Pete see what he’s done here? He’s angered two ladies! Steve’s pretty sure that you can’t rent anything without a credit card though. He doesn’t know much about debit cards, he doesn’t like in a debit card world.

01:16

Pete was taking a dresser from Brendan so obviously he’s doing something on the cheap. He didn’t want to pay $100 to move a free dresser. He probably could have strapped it to Jim’s car right?

01:17

Pete has angered the ladies, who seem to finally be fed up with his whole persona. It’s getting a little tired it seems. Next up is caller Keith in Minneapolis. He heard Steve is coming up that way and knows there are some good cruises on Lake Minnetonka, where the Vikings had their cruise.

01:18

Keith also wanted to recommend Lake Calhoun; there are a lot of hot women hanging around there.

01:19

Caller Dave was listening to last Friday’s show when Steve played the international pizza songs. In one song they were talking about putting apples on pizza. Dave is familiar with the song because it’s something his young daughter listens to. The video is actually a way to teach kids sign language.

01:20

Caller Chris was listening to Friday’s DahlCast where Steve was making fun of Wendy. It was hysterical. Chris thinks that a great show to add to the DahlCast empire would be a version of “The Soup” where they download and make fun of other podcasts. Sounds good to Steve!

01:21

Steve is given a lot of material to work with from the Snyde Remarks podcast but there has to be other ones out there like that right? The next caller was wondering if Steve could change the name of “Gaywatch”, the soon-to-be award-winning radio play. Does Pete know he just giggled when the caller said “Gaywatch”? He thinks the play should be changed to the “Prairie Bone Companion”.

01:22

Brendan is out covering the Blago trial so he hasn’t written a new play yet. We might have to bring Brendan back in because all he’s doing is standing around outside a courthouse. Pete saw that Blago was showing off his suit today. He’s kind of scooping Brendan but in a half-assed way. We’ve got the Peterson trial coming up too but he needs to actually get inside the courtroom.

01:23

We’ve got Brendan on the phone now. Pete was scooping him with all the suit talk although Brendan didn’t even notice that Patti had a new haircut.

01:24

Steve wants to bring Brendan back in because oddly enough he has the most creative energy of anyone around here. Well, he has the most creative energy of the two dudes at least. Pete takes forever to say anything and Jim is just sitting there typing everything Steve says.

01:25

Brendan probably wouldn’t even get into the Drew Peterson trial anyway right? He might not be able to get in everyday and if he were there he’d be stuck all day long so he wouldn’t be able to call. That’s also his story for the Blago trial. Steve doesn’t really buy it though.

01:26

In other news, it’s really hot out. Who would have thought it would be hot in the summer? So Blago showed up today and he was showing off his suit.

01:27

Blago rolled up and did a little turn on the ball of his feet to show off the suit. Based on how much he spends on them they’re not that impressive though. The guy kind of makes everything look cheap though. Brendan would like to see Blago show up in an NBA draft day suit though.

01:28

Is there anything else going on at the trial? Steve has kind of tired of these reports but it’s no offense to Brendan.

01:29

Steve wants Brendan back at the house tomorrow and then maybe he could go to the Peterson trial on Thursday. It’s time to bring Brendan back in, he’s better when he’s in the basement.

01:30

Caller Julie was listening to Friday’s DahlCast when Steve was talking about the Western Springs 125th anniversary. Steve said he would like to see them doing a play about the town’s history but Julie recommends Steve check out “Waiting for Guffman” as a cautionary tale. Another caller says that Jimmy Mac is the Bartman of podcasting.

01:31

The next caller is that idiot who laughs at himself. He’s out DJing and played one of Steve’s songs. What the hell is this guy doing? Steve had to have the Bartman of podcasting thing explained to him. Jimmy Mac didn’t record the Snyde Remarks live remote, that’s why he’s Bartman.

01:32

The next caller was at the health club and they had ESPN on when the Nathan’s competition was on. The gym closed at 1 so they shut the competition off before it ended. It seemed like Bertoletti was going to finish 4th or 5th so the caller thinks this is the perfect time for Steve to trade him for The Black Widow. We’re going to talk to Patrick in a few minutes so we’ll find all that out.

01:33

Live read: Townstone Financial

01:35

Don’t forget, it’s Tell-a-Friend Tuesday. Steve has a bunch of audio from Pete that he wants to crank through. Pete can tell him if it’s good or not. First up some woman from the labor union talking about Wal-Mart. Getting $9.50 to be a knucklehead at Wal-Mart doesn’t seem like a bad deal to Steve. The job wasn’t even there before!

01:36

Next up is Alexi Giannoulias talking about his tax return from last year and his $25,000 refund. He might as well hang it up right?

01:37

On Friday during the Cubs game Randy Wells didn’t run out a bunt and would have been safe because of a bad throw. Bob Brenly let him have it. The Cubs had an awesome weekend! Steve doesn’t like it when players don’t run out any ball they hit. Steve was also watching the Cubs game when Ted Lilly had a bit of a meltdown. Then the guy they brought in after him was throwing batting practice.

01:38

Next up is some audio from the Nathan’s competition. Apparently the commentator’s believe it’s a sport because the eaters watch video of their competition. Just because Steve watches video of people @#%&ing doesn’t make that a sport.

01:39

Patrick Bertoletti is on the phone. He ate 37 hot dogs on Sunday, which is a lot. Steve would have stopped after 5. Patrick wanted to stop because it was so hot out and he thought he’d achieve his dream of getting sick on national TV.

01:40

Patrick was feeling pretty good after 37 hot dogs actually. Patrick knows how Steve feels about the contest and the dunking buns in water. Steve just threw up in his mouth thinking about it. How does that help sell hot dogs at Nathan’s?

01:41

That was a pretty good showing for Patrick on Sunday. He wins a lot of competitions but this one is just not his forte, which is OK.

01:42

Steve wants to pull a Lamar Hunt and start his own eating league. He’d go back to the old school rules where you tie the hands behind the back and eat hands free. So Kobayashi was arrested on Sunday because he showed up but wasn’t in the competition. Kobayashi wants to compete in non-IFOCE events so they didn’t let him compete.

01:43

He lives in New York now and there are a lot of different food companies and restaurants that want to hire him for events. He showed up at the competition and came up on stage after the event was over. He was promptly arrested by the police for resisting arrest because he was hanging on to a railing and wouldn’t let go.

01:44

It kind of has a “Raging Bull” feel to it with Kobayashi’s career mirroring the end of Jake LaMotta’s feel to it.

01:45

The whole thing kind of overshadowed Joey Chestnut winning the competition, but he doesn’t really have more to say anyway.

01:46

Patrick is at his real job now; he works for a catering company making gallons and gallons of soup everyday. Steve’s brother would be perfect for that job! Today Patrick made baked potato soup with bacon and then a vegetable soup. He didn’t think he’d like the mass production aspect but he has control over how it tastes. Plus he likes the mass quantities of food right? He probably wants to make 50 gallons of soup and then down it.

01:47

The Hispanic guys that Patrick works with are always busting his chops about the eating and somehow they worked in the sister insults too. When you’re eating that many hot dogs it’s pretty easy to insult someone. Earlier in the show there was a voicemail from a caller who said Steve should trade Patrick for an Asian eater with a big rack. That’s not the Black Widow though right?

01:48

Patrick is pretty sure the guy was talking about Juliet. He has a nickname for her but he can’t say it on the show. As a general rule if it’s something you say behind her back you shouldn’t say it on the show. It seems like a lot of Asian women are drawn to the competitive eating world.

01:49

Patrick asked The Black Widow if she has any male groupies but she didn’t seem to know what those were. She got even more confused when Patrick explained it to her but he feels that she does have groupies.

01:50

Patrick’s next competition is a rib eating competition in Oregon. This is the other thing that bugs Steve about the IFOCE. They’re not known for ribs in Oregon but that’s where they have the competition.

01:51

Pat has won previous rib competitions but never the hot dogs. That’s because he’s a hetero male. At some point he doesn’t know why he’s cramming all these hot dogs in his mouth.

01:52

Jim and Pete were at the Chicago Ribfest that Patrick competed in but they didn’t plan their visit around him. Jim apparently downed a funnel cake in 15 seconds though.

01:53

Steve loves funnel cakes but one is enough for him. There’s some company that sells pre-made funnel cakes but those aren’t the same. Steve wants a fresh one that comes out of a mustard bottle.

01:54

Patrick called last Friday with his pizza order for Pizza Night in America. He went to Lombardi’s, which was the first pizza place in America. It was good but not great.

01:55

Patrick also went to a place in Trenton, New Jersey and that was pretty good too. Patrick went on a little pizza tour there. Some how he stays as skinny as a rail though.

01:56

There are some photos floating around of Patrick last summer when he went on a 4-month post-Nathan’s food bender. He didn’t carry the weight very well.

01:57

Even though Patrick doesn’t win Nathan’s he still gets mentioned with all the top eaters. So why should he shove a bunch of extra hot dogs in his mouth? Plus he’s getting way more groupies than Joey Chestnut anyway. Patrick had a little run-in with a groupie in New York at the subway station, with his girlfriend right there.

01:58

Steve has met Patrick’s girlfriend. She sounds like she’s 14 and looks like she’s 16. Patrick had to ask for two forms of ID from her at some point.

01:59

You have to wonder why Patrick would bring his girlfriend to the competition? He does a lot of drinking afterwards and it’s good to have someone keeping an eye on him.

02:00

That whole hot dog thing grosses Steve. He wants to start up his own league just to prove he can do it. Steve knows this show is a little long but he’s pent up from not doing a show yesterday.

02:01

Steve was at the condo in New Buffalo over the weekend. The condo is right on the dune and there’s some dune grass and it’s very nice. The family next to them is constantly cutting across the dune grass to get to the path to the beach, which you’re not supposed to do. Steve wrote them a very nice note asking them not to do it and they went completely sideways on him.

02:02

Eventually they stopped doing it because it’s against the condo rules although one girl still does it, and usually right in front of them when they’re on the porch. The guy on the other side of Steve is big on enforcing the rules so when he saw her do it he yelled at the woman.

02:03

She totally ignored the guy so then Steve yelled “HEY!” to get her attention. She said she knew it was against the rules but didn’t seem to care. So Steve said, “besides, it looks like you could use the exercise”. Janet was getting ready to yell at him but Steve knew she was out on the porch waiting for the woman to walk across so she could say something. Janet wanted to let her escalate it but why lose all the control?

02:04

Then about 45 minutes later Pat came in to inform them that the woman’s husband was listening to “Baby Got Back” really loudly on his porch, so clearly nothing is getting through to these people.